If you’ve been following the FIFTY Project – Cody Townsend’s wildly ambitious plan to climb and ski 50 classic North American lines – then you already know that Townsend demonstrates a unique willingness to self-inflict immense suffering in order to earn his turns.

For this veteran charger of the gnar and ski-movie hero, it’s no longer enough to push his limits on mere downhill descents. Now Townsend appears fascinated with discovering the most punishing ways to transport his body to the top of his lines, well before any skiing actually takes place.

Cue the coronavirus pandemic, which threw a wrench into Townsend’s plans to travel and check off more lines in the spring of 2020. In his search to find a socially-distanced way of continuing the project, he happened upon a totally normal, definitely not insane plan: to ride his bicycle over 1,000 miles (1,600 kilometers), gear in tow, to climb and ski three of the lines in question.

Somehow, he managed to corral Michelle Parker into this arduous undertaking. What follows is possibly the most unnecessarily painful ski trip that you will watch this year, or possibly ever.